Joining in with Ginny for her weekly yarn along. I have on the needles the Magnolia Shawl/Wrap from Dolce Handknits. Using Cascade Superwash in a teal blue. I have to say, I really love their patterns. Simple, clear directions. I like that. The patterns have a certain classiness to them. Your eye is immediately drawn to the beauty of the stitches and designs in these patterns. I know a lot of knitters worship Elizabeth Zimmerman, but I have never found her stuff all that, well, polished. Is that the word I am looking for?
Currently reading Elevate the Everyday, by Tracey Clark of Shutter Sisters fame. Excellent book. I am taking it in small doses, savoring the wisdom and perspective a page here and a page there. I am participating in the Nehemiah-a heart that can break, by Kelly Minter.It's part of the Living Room Series and Beth Moore's Summer Siesta study. Just so much meat to chew on there, how Nehemiah was broken for his world. How we, as Christians should feel broken for ours. Then I am also reading Mary Oliver's Why I Wake Early. A poem here and there as I go about the day.This particular volume speaks to me, right now. *(Book links in my Amazon box on the sidebar.)
As I sat typing this out it really hit me. Each book I am reading is ministering to a different part of my soul. In the last week two older children shared their hearts with me. Heavy stuff. Made me feel like I got this mothering gig all wrong. This ever happen to you? I am not ready to go into too much detail as I am still processing it all. Raw feelings, raw emotions. Crying. Doubt. Guilt, oh yes, guilt. Second guessing everything you have ever done. Wishing that you could do it all over again with all this new knowledge, new wisdom, new perspective. Life is messy, very messy sometimes. How to clean it up. These thoughts plaque my days lately. Yup, heavy stuff. Gosh, I am just ready for some fluff, ya know!
Even the way I edited the picture above looks like I am feeling. A bit ragged with a definite edge. Slightly out of focus. Ahhhh...exhale....pray...lots. That's today.
Gorgeous wrap! I think I love it better in that blue than in the original color on the designer's site!
ReplyDeleteWOW, the pattern for the wrap is stunning!
ReplyDeleteThe color and pattern of that shawl/wrap are gorgeous! Yes, we all need some fluff. Heavy stuff of life can get us down, whittle away our hope. I always feel that in parenting, you did the best you could at the time, even if the best in retrospect was not correct. God can always make good from bad. When I look back to my childhood, I am grateful for the bad times (now, not when I was in these times) because I can see how it formed me to be a better person with more empathy. love,andrea
ReplyDeleteThanks Andrea. That is how I am looking at some things, did the best I could with the skills I had in my pocket at the time. Glad you stopped by:-)
DeleteBeautiful wrap and the yarn looks really wonderful to work with; soft and luxurious. Have a blessed day. Heather
ReplyDeleteAhhh Suzanne, as I read your post it applied to what I am working on today. Not the knitting of needles and yarn, but the knitting of life and how up close it may not look so good but at a distance things are put into perspective, some! LOL!
ReplyDeleteHere is what I wrote this morning...
Now that I am older I can turn and look back, not living in the past per say, but seeing where God has been with me all the time, He had my hand and I didn’t walk through most of my life He carried me. It is a startling revelation sometimes when I stop and ponder this, knowing what the Bible says about the goodness of God, it still amazes me.
And then the article about reason, season and lifetime (talking about people who come in our lives) comes to mind thinking of all the people I have had come and go in my life and only have a handful I hear from on a somewhat regular basis. I know this bothers many but it doesn’t bother me. I know we can’t be everything to everybody all the time. It is impossible for us to do this. Our expectations get out of whack and we become disappointed or discouraged. So things happen for reasons, most, some for seasons and some things in our life are for life… but not very much really when we stop to think about it but we “expect” it to be so.
And when the fallen-ness of our world well, appears what it really is, broken, then we realize, well some of us do, that we need something to help, something so much bigger than we are, all knowing, all powerful, everywhere… I guess for some like myself that brings comfort, for others I am sure they don’t like that at all. And that is okay. Nowhere in my faith does it say we have to follow the God of the Bible. He gives us the choice. Man however messes that up quite a bit. Gee, imagine that one. Man messing things up. And as I say “man” this encompasses us all. I mess up every single day and the enemy of my soul comes screaming at me, YOU MESSED UP Gypsy, AGAIN!!! Of course I did. I am not perfect not by any means but God’s Amazing Grace helps me get up and get moving in the right direction AGAIN.
I wrote this out and had a friend of mine who is Buddhist email me, so I cut and pasted it in an email to her as a reply... funny how that works out and here I did the same for you...
My last comment to her in that email was...
Hope it helps, if not, that is okay too!
Smiles!!
Thanks, Gypsy, for the wise words. I wish we could have a cup of tea together:-)
DeleteI think you summed up parenting...and life. It's a journey, I keep telling myself as I turn each new corner. If I had the wisdom then...in my teens, in my 20s, in my 30s, in my...well you get the picture...oh the changes I would make. But would I really? If I did, I wouldn't be the person I am today, the person God is still creating me to be, and so it goes with my kids. Now that they are young adults (my youngest turns 16 next week!)our chats are different. I often initiate the conversation, telling them where I knew I went wrong. I welcome the opportunity we have to grow in our relationship, even with the junk.
DeleteHang in there. You sound like a really good mom! :)
the knitting is lovely, that will be an amazing wrap.
ReplyDeleteas for the post: i think that if we don't doubt our parenting we aren't doing it right. i think we contsantly need to grow and learn and change with our children. parenting is so hard, and you want to get it right, you want to do right by your children. that makes you a good mama, because you are trying and changing and growing. (hug)
Thanks for the encouragement:-) Your right, parenting is hard and we do want to get it oh so right.
DeleteSuch a lovely colour.
ReplyDeleteAnd the parenting, I am new to it all, so can't offer much advice except that for me it is a journey and every day I am learning something new. By the end of every day I have grown in one way or another. And each day when I get up I try and do better than the day before. It is a tough journey, I am always questioning myself.
And no guilt allowed, we make choices with the information we have at the time, looking back isn't fair. All we can do it look forward and learn as much as we can.